Toms: changing the world one stinky foot at a time

Okay, so I’m not here to discuss the philosophies behind giving or whether or not we should spend money and receive something in return under the guise that we are helping someone else in the meantime. I know there are lots of thoughts on these issues, but that’s neither here nor there when it comes to what I want to discuss.

I’d just like to take a moment to address some more important issues going on here in regards to the popular Toms brand of shoes. My concerns here are multi-faceted so please hear me out.

Why is Toms on a mission to make the world a stinkier place? I’d like to know. And why is there not a fine print when it comes to purchasing these shoes, that maybe goes something like this:

Please be advised that when you wear these shoes your feet will stink like nothing you’ve ever smelled before. Please do not under any circumstances take off your shoes while in the car with other people. If you chose to do so, do so at your own risk and at the risk of anyone else in the car. If you must, please ensure the windows are in working order and that every last one of them can roll all the way down. If and when you do decide to remove your Toms, please ensure you are safely out of sniff of other people, and very near a tub full of soap and water. 

You see, all I’m asking for is some honesty here. And also, has anyone thought about the poor children in other countries? I’m thankful they get a pair of shoes, really, but do you realize how much stinkier this world is now? We are spreading stinky feet all over the world, people. You know it’s true–you know exactly what kind of stinky feet I’m talking about here.

But one more beef and I’ll be done. I’m having trouble understanding why Toms get holes so easily. It’s happened to both of my children’s pairs, and I can’t tell you how many other people I’ve seen walking around with “holy” Toms. Once again, if the children in other countries decide to wear these shoes all day every day, it will only be like a month until the shoes will have holes in the front. I’m just saying, the principle is good, but if these things are happening to my kids shoes, can you imagine what’s happening in Africa?

Okay, I’m finished. I just needed to have my say. (and I have written Toms about the holes, but it’s been five days and I’ve heard nada. I didn’t mention the stinky feet thing but I thought it would be better to focus on one issue at a time.)

What’s your trick for a better smelling Tom? I’d like to know.

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